Amidst all the turmoil both online and off, it might have been easy to miss, but guess what? Summer is here! And you know what that means: Things are heating up. And we’re not just talking about the mercury rising. From the halls of Congress to the tubes of the internet, heated discussions and hot takes abound. Think you might have missed something online over the last week? Grab a cool beverage and lean back—everything you need to know is right here.
Barbie’s New Beau
What Happened: Barbie has a new Ken doll to hang out with. In fact, she has many of them, and the internet is very interested.
What Really Happened: After more than half a century of being the same beefcake—well, almost—Barbie’s boytoy Ken got numerous makeovers this week, with the release of 15 new designs for the character that mix race and style in an attempt to make Ken more appealing to customers. Unfortunately, one new Ken doll in particular caught the attention of Twitter—and not in a good way.
Others felt like they knew the new Kens quite well already.
The Takeaway: OK, that was fun and all, but let’s keep this in perspective.
Just a Bill, Sitting on Capitol Hill
What Happened: The super-secret Senate health care bill got released Thursday. Did it finally solve all the problems of the House bill?
This legislation is a rewrite of the House’s bill, which President Donald Trump called “mean” in a meeting. The Senate’s version is the one that is supposed to repeal and replace Obamacare in a way that will make everyone happy. So, how does it look?
OK, that doesn’t seem promising.
Well, at least the boss is happy with it.
The Takeaway: Let’s let Twitter have the last word.
Let’s Check the Tape
What Happened: While we’re talking about long-awaited reveals, whatever happened to those tapes President Trump hinted might exist of his conversations with former FBI director James Comey? The answer may (not) surprise you!
What Really Happened: Last month Trump quasi-threateningly suggested that, just maybe, there could be recorded evidence of his private meetings with Comey. That statement prompted endless speculation about said tapes‘ existence, but, funny story, Trump has no such tapes.
Yes, it was all a bluff! Wonder how Twitter felt about that.
Things got weirder when Trump gave his first TV interview in a long time to confirm the bluff was an attempt to influence Comey post–firing. “It wasn’t very stupid,” he said in a rather odd explanation of his actions.
Not to worry, however: the faithful are still on board.
The Takeaway: But, really: Are there tapes? No one knows anymore when Trump is being 100 honest, let’s be real.
A New Cosby Show
What Happened: Fresh off a mistrial in his sexual assault case, Bill Cosby has a new plan: Telling other people how to avoid allegations of sexual assault. No, seriously.
What Really Happened: Bill Cosby had a hell of a week last week. First of all, his sexual assault trial ended in a mistrial after two jurors couldn’t agree. Then, stunningly, news broke that Cosby is planning a tour to talk about the issue of sexual assault.
The Takeaway: What a difference a couple decades makes.
This Is How You Tell a Joke on Twitter
What Happened: Think of this as an unexpected greatest hits medley.
What Really Happened: For those who love Twitter memes, comedian Paul F. Tompkins accidentally unleashed the ultimate nostalgia trip this week with an early morning piece of snark.
Things, as they say, escalated quickly.
The entire thread is filled with old favorites, and is well worth checking out if you want to remember simpler times when Twitter was for being stupid and making dumb jokes, instead of avoiding trolls and keeping up with the president.
The Takeaway: One! More!